I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
