i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
