my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
