oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize