Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize