Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
