I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
