I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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