is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize