My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
