i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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