dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize