Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
