one might say we're banned from that church
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
