Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
