She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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