It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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