I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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