We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize