I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
