took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
