i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
