Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Welp...herpes.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
