In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I could fuck to npr.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
