Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
