i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
