If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
