Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
