I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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