I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
