Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
