my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
