If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize