I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
