I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
