the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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