Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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