im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
