Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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