Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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