It's Friday. Sex?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
