I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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