And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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