He uses pillows to masturbate.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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