Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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