hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
