this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
