apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
