We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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