Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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