This is not my ceiling
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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