i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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