i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
