hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
