I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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