Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All the doctor said was why
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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