kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize