can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
