you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
