Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
