So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
