Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What drink are we having for lunch?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
