A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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