Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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