i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
