I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
