Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
