conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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