I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
